Spot the difference

It’s our anniversary – whoop, whoop! We always make our own cards; never buy, no matter how cheap 🙂

This year we’re a having a bit of a… misunderstanding. Spot the difference:

Husband’s card to me:


Now, my card to Husband:



Hmmm…. the devil is in the detail. Maybe, my marriage feels longer because of the extra luggage I bring?

Challenge No.2: What’s our favourite word this year?

Caving in

P1060123We went to Ambleside and ended up in a cave – it was much closer and my little feet wouldn’t carry my heavy bottom any further. Rydel Cave isn’t any odd hole in the ground – it’s huge and vibrating with echo made by water plopping from the ceiling. One thing on my mind: would it cave in when I was there; that’s what caves do, they cave in; that’s why they’re called caves. So I was slightly apprehensive and very respectful of the old cave.

On our way to the cave we came upon a couple of very rude hissing swans. They were either hissing or telling us outright to “Pissss off!”. I couldn’t quite make out which.


Washed up in Grasmere

We’re taking a break from unpacking our new house, so we packed our suitcases (for a change) and travelled to Grasmere. We should’ve taken a boat rather than a car – the bouts of rain and unbridled wind created perfect sailing conditions on the road. To add to the atmosphere, lorries and vans beyond Birmingham stopped using indicators when changing lanes, so it was like a bloody Mexican wave on the motorway. I’m still seasick!

Anyway, we are here.


My Mexican stand-offs with Wildlife

I think all creatures large and small on my way to work have a death wish. I’ve run into dozens of suicidal badgers, pheasants and rabbits. One pheasant, I’m sure of it, just sits by the side of the road, behind a derelict old bridge, and waits for me. When he sees me approach he ventures right under my wheels, his head and tail down, his gait measured. He refuses to take off and fly away – just crosses the road without a zebra (crossing) in sight.

A couple of black birds have it for me, too. It looks like a game of Russian roulette to me as they glide inches in front of my windscreen, trying my patience.

I won’t mention the badger who really should consider a dieting regime. He couldn’t outrun a snail and yet he takes me on – me in my car, he on his four legs, waddling along.

Moving on to the rabbits – frankly, they’re just taking the piss and I won’t be held to account if one day one of them just slips and is sucked under my fender. They hop mindlessly without any regard for road safety. On their heads be it!

But the trophy goes to that hapless deer (with no antlers). He just strolls in front of the car and stands there, gazing me in the eye evenly, not a care in the world! Once the three of us stood there in the middle of the road, wondering who would make the first move: the deer, me and the guy driving a tractor on the other side of the road. The deer won.

Home and About

The Quite Contrary Colin Pluck

Interview with a Vampire, a short film

Watch with caution. This is a would-be horror story. It was recorded as I dragged myself out of a hole full of deadly colds and flu, and then through a hedge backwards. Although no animals were harmed in the process of making this film, some may be harmed in the process of watching it.

London escapade

We drove Zaba to London. You may remember Zaba? She is the heroin of Home and About – a story about… Zaba. I was the chauffer, Steve acted as porter. We took Zaba’s favourite automobile, the Rolls she affectionately refers to as Rollie-Pollie. Zaba visited all her relations in every pond and puddle, and let’s face it, in this attrocious weather there were puddles aplenty! Good thing I am a good rower. We sang this song:

Row, row, row the boat

gently down the stream

reepeetee weepeetee

life is but a dream!

We would have stayed at the Ritz Hotel but Zaba had something more charitable in mind so we settled for IT. We hope that even the 10% of our accommodation cost will be able to feed a small African country for a year or two. Next time we will take a tent and send the whole amount directly to that small African country – it may feed them for a decade.

We saw Stomp. Full of energy, full of attitude, full of vigor! Incredible sound! A symphony created out of a wheely bin and a supermarket trolley! Amazing animation, fluidity, movement, body language that tells a story of curiosity, creativity and beauty found at the bottom of refuse damp. No barriers! We loved it. Zaba joined in. Now she wants to be a rubbish man. She is already practising sweeping floors with a bang.

We took a submarine back to the swamps of our flooded West Country.